Friday, December 01, 2006

Mutha f*n Climate Change

It's December 1 and it's cruddy cruddy CRUDDY outside. It's gray and drizzly, which I wouldn't mind if it wasn't 70 degrees outside. It feels like mid-April. Where are the cherry blossoms? This isn't the best weather for revving up my Christmas spirit. I want freezing cold, knit-hat-and-mittens-and-hot-cocoa-and-extra-blankets weather. To make matters worse, I can't control the heat in my apartment, which blows constant hot, dry air and makes me feel sick and feverish all night long.

All of this confused and foul weather makes me lethargic, depressed and overly-analytical. Why is happiness so elusive?

Oh - and while I'm complaining, I'm going to add a big fat @#$% off to the customer service culture of our great nation's capital. I went Christmas shopping last night and pushed through the sweaty crowds at Pentagon City Mall trying to find gifts. To add insult to injury, here's an example of the sweet, thoughtful ways of the D.C. cashier:

Location: The Discovery Channel Store
Me: "Excuse me, do you have any interactive maps of the US?"
Cashier (leaning lazily on the counter with a glazed over look of "do-I-look-like-I-give-a-flying-#$%^" in her eyes): "Um, shit I don't should go to that America store. I don't think we have that stuff here."

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot is WRONG with these people?

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